One Pound at a Time

Well, I haven’t been present in this blog for weeks now. Still not exciting news to tell about the zillion reasons why I haven’t written. I just didn’t have anything to say. I just read PastaQueen blog about quality over quantity in blogging. I don’t have those concerns; I just didn’t have anything to say to myself or anyone that could read these words. About my objectives, well, I can laugh at them. The one very good thing is that I keep walking with my dog everyday and in general I watch what I eat. So I should get some brownie points for that.

What have I been doing during the past three weeks? Well, reading obviously, taking little trips here and there with my husband over the weekends. Celebrated my birthday. And enjoying the summer in New England. That is about it.

I am in the phase of reading all books about processes to reach my goals. The artist way and positive visualization are on my night stand. Yes, now I am getting super Zen and trying to figure out where I want to go and how I am going to get there.

When I was reading the book, Do what you are, I read something that describes me very well. Since I am super perfectionist I am getting too involved in the process of learning how to visualize my objectives to the point that I don’t have any objectives to visualize because I want to know all about the process.

It is getting very hard to stay home with no place to go everyday. I am a homebody and don’t get me wrong. I can spend days without leaving the house but I need a purpose. I read about people that work from home, more specifically about writers. I want to do that and at the same time I don’t know how to start. And I go back again to remind myself that the only way to write is to write. And for me to write in my own language and keep practicing with this other language I have.

There are some new developments that may change my routine for a couple of months. I won’t write about them until I find out for sure. But I may be living in a foreign country for a couple of months. We will see. And that brings me to the fact that I need to find a job that allows me to do it from home if that is the life I want to live. So many decisions!

I called my mom in panic today in the morning. Scared about the possibilities. Then I got scared about being scared about the possibilities. Why am I so afraid of adventure? Me? The one that left my country and sold all possessions to get a masters in another continent where I have never been before? Me, the one who decided to come to USA to get another masters without knowing anyone? Me, the one that has lived in 3 different countries in the last 7 years? Me? Am I getting old? What is it? God help me. I hope is not my age!

So I am just going to let these feelings pass. They will pass. I just need not to stay on them all week.

Later.